If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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