just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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