Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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