Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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