Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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