He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
