The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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