it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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