i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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