Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
