No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize