upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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