So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
