Umm I'm too high to move.
false alarm. still invincible.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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