So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
