Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
