why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
