He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
