Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
