Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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