I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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