Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we have pet lesbian snakes
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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