I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
