The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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