your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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