$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
