Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize