I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
