I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
