this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
