Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
