Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
