we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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