I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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