Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
