I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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