Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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