I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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