was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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