i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
