if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
