awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
