I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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