we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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