is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
