her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
