just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
