oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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