guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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