Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
