Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
