My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
