No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
