brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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