I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
