You can't special order awesome
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
