Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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