Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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