no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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