it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
