I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
