I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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