I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize