just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
