Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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