no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
