Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
