i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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