Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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